Dark Glass Ponderings

Apropos to my blog title, I have been thinking a lot about mirrors lately, especially in regards to spiritual life.  In my life, God often reflects what is in my heart using the mirror of those I love best, my family.  At times I feel the strongest mirror in my life can be my five-year-old daughter.  The most common question I hear when entering public places with my daughter is "Were you a redhead?"  Followed by "because she is just the spitting image of you."  But these aren't the similarities I'm speaking about.

Anyone familiar with a five-year-old knows about the particular raw honesty among this age group.  This coarseness leaves me daily exposed to the most base parts of my nature.  We both fear meeting new people.  We both know that "Jesus is the best treat" as she tells me regularly yet sometimes dip into the M&M bin when we're feeling sad.  We both dread stepping out into the unknown.  We prefer the familiar whether that means listening to Ted on audiobook ad nauseum, or ordering a buttered toasted wheat bagel with a root beer on shopping days.  Yes, my daughter is that mirror on my life that God uses to open my eyes to what I am slow to see in myself.

On my daughter's birthday I am also reflecting on the ways she is a mirror showing me more about Him.  Throughout my life I have struggled with periods of intense depression.  My daughter has always had a strong connection to human emotions.  While barely talking she would murmur "God--peace to mommy, peace to mommy."   In her sweet cuddles for those who are struggling, I see God's compassion.When I gave my life to Jesus as an older teen I was not even aware James was a book of the Bible, yet my daughter at five is always questioning, always wondering, always wanting to know more about Him and His ways.  In her I see God's seeking after us, longing to know us, pursuing us as the hound of heaven.

After an intense seventeen hours of labor and four hours of hard labor, my firstborn came into this world.  My intense, sensitive, creative, snuggly, God-loving girl turned my life topsy-turvy five years ago today.

I love you Bith.